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Ron White Jokes

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Ron White - Wikiquote

Ron White : If I could offer one piece of advice to the planet, it would be this: Don't marry for looks alone, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, when Barbara's boobs start sagging, she can get plastic surgery, have them lifted, move the nipple wherever. You can actually go to a titty bar, pick out a set of titties and say, "I want those titties on that woman. If her hearing goes bad, they can install a device in her ear that will give you hearing as clear as it was the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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Ron White: Self

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. I went out last night, and I got back at the hotel at this morning. I went up to the desk to leave a wake-up call for The lady goes, 'Mr.
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